Complementarians believe that a wife can do no wrong

Still pretty busy, but still trying to get a post out or two.

Hearkening back to complementarians are worse than egalitarians, a majority of Dalrock’s recent posts all harp on this theme:

The general pattern is displayed in several relevant points, namely:

  • If a husband is in sin (e.g. porn), it’s his fault for failing as a leader. If a wife is in sin (e.g. porn, romance novels), what is he doing to make her act this way?
  • “Effort and feelings” (e.g. romance, emotions, feeling it) justifies marital sex. Oh, and it’s only the romance, emotions, and feelings of the wife. Not the husband.
  • Women are responders. A husband’s leadership is justified by how his wife responds. Positively, he’s doing good. Negatively, he’s doing bad.
  • Husbands are ‘brutes’ that need to be ‘civilized’ by their wives.
  • Wives are innately more moral than their husbands.
  • If a husband wants a divorce, he’s evil. If a wife wants a divorce, what’s the husband doing wrong?

The sum of all of this nonsense is: a wife can do no wrong. This is the essence of complementarian teaching, despite the lip service they give to the Bible.

We know that the Scripture preaches that all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. That we are responsible for our own personal actions. That even if others are treating us terrible or poorly that we should be kind and pray for them and should not sin. That even if we are married to non-Christians that we should act according to Christian principles despite if they sin.

It would be better to clarify the position that complementarians are worse than egalitarians. Egalitarians “overtly” claim equality, while advocating rule of the wife in marriage. Complementarians “overtly” claim the Biblical roles and responsibilities, while undermining the husband and advocating the rule of the wife in marriage.

The deception is far worse than we realize because they try to play their position off as truth, and cut down husbands much more than both egalitarians AND feminists. As Dalrock has noted, even secular magazines have been shocked over how films like the War Room have cut down husbands.

Complementarian teaching [in practice] = a wife can do no wrong.

The list of “complementarian” pastors who believe this is quite astonishing: Moore, Russell, Stanton, Piper, Mohler, etc. Pretty much everyone from Focus on the Family, Acts 29, and other so-called conservative Christian groups that say they adhere to the Scripture. Just look at all of their teachings on marriage.

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13 Responses to Complementarians believe that a wife can do no wrong

  1. Zhou says:

    In an attempt to seem more drivel, many men my age will try to give the appearance of maturity and defend this drivel. “Women just have it hard these days; how can you say such things? Of course it’s the man’s fault!” I almost wanted to yell at my friend at church during one of these points.

  2. Out of Nod says:

    Bingo – this is one of the main reasons why I denounce the Neo-Reformed movement. Dalrock was my introduction to the manosphere way back (3 years ago) and he ultimately opened my eyes to the abuses of pastor Mark Driscoll and his elders. This ultimately led me to leave Mars Hill Church.

  3. Lost Patrol says:

    I wouldn’t say Dalrock is harping on this theme, but rather highlighting it.

    Definition of harp: intransitive verb
    1: to play on a harp
    2: to dwell on or recur to a subject tiresomely or monotonously —usually used with on

    Pedantry complete.

    The sum of all of this nonsense is: a wife can do no wrong. This is the essence of complementarian teaching, despite the lip service they give to the Bible.

    Truth. And a brutal truth for me it was.

  4. @ Lost Patrol

    Highlighting is definitely a better word.

  5. donalgraeme says:

    Pretty much what you just said.

  6. Jeff says:

    I walked out of a church that supported 3 women divorcing their husbands, all within 3 months. The pastor’s sons are openly Christian feminists due to The Lift. I will only step inside a church for weddings, funerals and Xmas/Easter. My wife is ok with that as we do home study and sing twice a week. My kids are 20 and 18, so although they might not have “youth” time they both have many believers as friends. Neglecting the assembly passage is used out of context and we have many christian friends we associate with.

    I cannot figure out why anyone would allow their families to listen to these pastor-bators.

  7. Coastal says:

    We know that the Scripture preaches that all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. That we are responsible for our own personal actions. That even if others are treating us terrible or poorly that we should be kind and pray for them and should not sin. That even if we are married to non-Christians that we should act according to Christian principles despite if they sin.

    When you think about it, complementarianism directly denies the Gospel. Instead of preaching the sinful nature of humanity and the need for repentance, it’s about finger-pointing at other people and how they “made you do it”.

  8. @ Jeff

    Neglecting the assembly passage is used out of context and we have many christian friends we associate with.

    If you are consistently meeting Christians and having fellowship about Christ and life that is good. Sundays at least is simply one gathering to do it.

    Although I would try to find a Church that takes these things seriously. There are some out there, but they are generally smaller ones.

  9. @ Coastal

    Exactly. It’s like the issue of abortion.

    The same pastors aren’t willing to place any of the guilt on the woman getting the abortion on them and insist on painting them as victims of the abortion instead.

  10. feeriker says:

    The sum of all of this nonsense is: a wife can do no wrong. This is the essence of complementarian teaching, despite the lip service they give to the Bible.

    Threat point. ALL of these pathetic cucks live in abject terror of the women in their lives. They have ZE-RO faith in God to give them the strength, wisdom, and courage to lead like a man. Their behavior is a symptom of a sort spiritual Stockholm Syndrome.

    There is no reason whatsoever to take seriously anything scriptural that comes from mouths or pens of these clowns. If they really believed any of it, or held any of it firmly in their hearts, this toxic movement of theirs wouldn’t exist.

  11. Well,…regarding those women, they are going to become more vulnerable and I wonder what excuses will be put forward for their continued behavior,…… 2 Timothy 3:6 They are the kind who worm their way into households and captivate vulnerable women who are weighed down with sins and led astray by various passions, 7 always learning but never able to come to a knowledge of the truth.

    I fear that we are heading to a state where Airbnb couples will start having Judges 19 trouble with all these effeminate men numbers also increasing….

  12. @ TheLdnQuaestor

    It’s surprising how accurate 1 and 2 Timothy describe the current state of the Church.

    The last throes of the Roman Empire was eerily similar to what the Western World will also go through perhaps in our lifetime.

    Human nature is human nature.

  13. Charles says:

    this is pat of MOST OF Christianity now

    the wife can’t handle just being a mom and wife….
    reading through interviews, he negotiates with her on the schedule so he can look after the kids while she records music….
    how do these people claim to be Christian when their marriages are so gender fluid

    notice how also men never say the wife is their to support him, they always her priority is the kids,
    saying she supports him would be too offensive

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