I’ve talked about this before briefly in other posts, but it deserves its own post. Somewhat goes with Dalrock’s Hierarchy equals abuse, which is funny because i had this post typed up a few days ago.
The reason why complementarians are worse than egalitarians is that they both espouse equality between the sexes in marriage. In complementarism, the husband and wife always come together to discuss decisions (subtext: as some sort of equals) exactly like egalitarians. The only difference complementarians simply pay lip service to the husband as the authority/head in marriage as some sort of last resort “tie breaker.”
Complementarians try everything possible to make men and women equal, but at the end of the day they can’t ignore the plain text of Scripture regarding headship and submission. They begrudgingly give the husband a tie breaker vote, but only because the Bible said so.
At least the egalitarians are honest about their position. They believe, albeit wrongly, that husbands and wives are equal in marriage. Complementarians deceive and are deceived regarding the nature husband authority in marriage.
Egalitarians are overt feminists. Complementarians are disguised feminists.
Deception is worse than a blatant lie because the blatant lie is easier to pick out. Deception is when you think you know the truth, but in reality you don’t. That’s the scariest one because you don’t know you’re being led astray. It’s harder to pick out what is wrong when Truth is mixed with lies rather than just a straight forward lie.
edit: This is why the “tie breaker” argument does not work with egalitarians. It isn’t Scripture and lacks authoritative power. Egalitarians try to twist Ephesians 5 into what they want it to mean, but they ignore Colossian 3, Titus 2, 1 Peter 3, and 1 Cor 11 (“head of”). Every time they bring up Ephesians 5 just bring up the other verses instead.