Donal’s Masculine Monday touched some on the concept of abundance mentality and how it relates to decreased thinking about what woman care about you.
In general, I think abundance mentality is the wrong way to approach relationships. The thing with abundance mentality is that it has some deception embedded into it already. Okay, sure there are more women who are single and available out there. However, that doesn’t necessarily mean you will end up meeting them or develop a relationship with them. How many of these single women are actually looking for a serious relationship headed toward marriage? How many of these women are not simply in-name Christians when it benefits them? Upwards of 80-85% of people in the United States call themselves Christians according to some polls. That’s clearly an extremely misleading statistic as probably less than 10% of those are actual Christians.
As I have discussed before, the pool actual solid marriage candidates is actually fairly low in Doom and gloom and the amount of attractive Christian virgins. The approximation estimates put the attractive, Christian virgins at .5% (about 1 in 200) of the 18-29 population, and in any random Church about 8.3% (about 1 in 12) of the available women in that same age group. Obviously, there will probably be a greater percentage in orthodox or traditional Churches and less in more liberal Churches. Abundance mentality buys into the deception that there is abundance when in reality the pool is sparse. That’s how the cookie crumbles.
Instead, what Christian men should be doing is looking for a woman who is a good fit for them.
For example, a woman who is clearly not interested in a date or a relationship is going to be a bad fit in the long run. We know this because of the patterns of observable behavior in women. Women who feel like they are settling in a relationship or marriage are often going to be chronically unhappy and discontent. This will manifest into a contentious and rebellious girlfriend and/or wife who is constantly nagging or trying to mom her boyfriend or husband. This is not something that you are going to look for in a helpmeet.
A good fit requires mutual interest from both parties. 1 Corinthians 7 notes that if both men and women burn [with passion], they should marry. Likewise, the marital debt of sexual access is due both parties. Other good fit criteria is obedience to Jesus, the commands of the Scripture, and fulfilling the roles and responsibilities of husbands and wives. A woman who is a good follow is a good start.
In conclusion, you shouldn’t using abundance mentality but rather searching for a woman who is a good fit for you. A woman who loves Jesus, has the hots for you, and willing to take on the roles and responsibilities put forth in the Scripture to be a respectful and submissive helpmeet.
Oh, she rejected you for a date or is not interested in going out with you anymore? Clearly, she is not a good fit for you. Let her go and continue searching for someone who is.