If you recall, a few months ago I posted an example for Christian women on Real life Ruths.
Well, today they are getting married! I’ll be off to the wedding after this post goes up.
A few weeks ago I had the pleasure of being able to talk to John separately, Katie a bit separately, both of them together, and sitting down for dinner.
One of the main things that impressed me is how involved the community was in their relationship. Many of the older married men [in the Church] who knew Katie as she was growing up also helped to mentor John in the relationship. John told me about how these men told him Katie’s strong points and weak points. Funnily enough, we ended up on the topic of weak points and struggles of women, and in any relationship there are a bunch. However, the older men were very helpful in pointing them out beforehand to John and ways to approach them from a godly perspective. This made his life significantly easier in terms of conflict management and growing the relationship.
One of these in particular was what got them together in a sense. The “Ruth” side of Katie for making every effort to give John opportunities and chances also means she has a fairly committed mind and strong will of sorts. However, the mentors definitely gave John advice on how to handle and manage that, even though they will obviously have to work through that together. All couples have things like that to work through anyway.
I think when we think of family and/or community involvement, it tends to rub us the wrong way in general since even most families are fairly intrusive or condescending rather than desiring the best for us. Families tend to have a “their way or the highway” type of thing rather than approaching it from a mentoring perspective. This has been my [perceived] experience, at least in my current relationship.
I found this example of their relationship to be particularly good in terms of being able to help mentor a burgeoning relationship in a way that benefits both participants, as opposed to applies some sort of adverse load or is overbearing. Obviously, these older men desire what is good for both, so they can point out potential pitfalls along the way based on what they know of each person’s character and personality. Then from their experience they can also point out ways to handle it in a godly manner.
In any case, from what I’ve seen they’re a pretty good fit for each other personality-wise, and they’re both committed Christians. Let the wedding celebration begin. 🙂