Dalrock did an excellent job explaining why some Christians associate with the red pill and blue pill distinction that the manosphere uses.
For posterity, I think it is useful to understand Christianity in the context of what the “red pill” is because most Christians who encounter the Christian manosphere do not understand it correctly.
What is the “red pill”
From the Matrix:
Morpheus: “This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back.
- You take the blue pill—the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe.
- You take the red pill—you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.
Remember: all I’m offering is the truth. Nothing more.”
The “red pill” itself is about seeing the Truth and how deep the rabbit hole goes in terms of worldly and even Church deception about the nature of male and female sexuality. For Christians, the God and the Bible are the Truth.
The problem is that most Christians see the secular blogs and reddits like TRP and MRP and mix up understanding observational truths about human sexuality and confuse it with prescription about what you are supposed to do.
It is a common theme throughout the secular manosphere to basically understand female sexuality and then use it to sleep with as many women as possible. Obviously, this is one particular response to understanding the truth and male and female sexuality, but it is not the only response. There are several different responses which the manosphere fractured into many different groups.
- Secular manosphere – use the observational truth to try to cultivate strategies to sleep with women
- MRAs (men’s rights activists) – use the truth to try to make laws even
- MGTOW (men going their own way) – stop trying to play the game because they’re bitter against women
- INCELs (involuntary celibates) – just give up because women don’t like them anyway or there’s no hope
- Christian manosphere – follow the Bible because God’s Truth is paramount
The problem is that most people – Christian and non-Christian – see the secular manosphere, the MRAs, the MGTOWs, and INCELs and assume that is what the “red pill” is. This is simply ignorance, but ignorance is also dangerous.
First, one common objection to the “red pill” by Christian men who assume that other Christian men don’t need it is some semblance of the following:
Really we should be teaching and encouraging others to walk in love and have faith that everything else falls into place.
This is one of the big issues. Other common lines of thought are: ‘being a nice young man with a job’ or ‘godliness is sexy’ or ‘just be you’ or ‘love God and everything will fall into place’ as possibly told to you by many Christian parents and the Church are not things that women find attractive.
Are women generally more attracted to men that are leaders, have muscles, have good style and grooming, and status? Sure. I’ve made the point before that Christian women are often more attracted to positions with status such as pastor and worship band leader than the Church janitor or door greeter or parking lot attender.
But is it then find to go escalate and spin plates to something just short of sex? No. Is it OK to think that women are like children and should be treated as such? No. Is it OK to go all hardline on your wife and not love her unconditionally and honor her? No. There’s a lot of ‘prescription’ stuff in the secular RP that is specifically anti-Christian and sin.
Second, another blurring factor that most Christians who get involved with RP do not understand that is a large chunk of the ‘tactics of game’ work specifically on a subset of women: promiscuous women.
Acting like a douche bag will attract some women sure (even some Christian women), but probably mainly the ones with daddy issues or ones that are looking for bad boys. Yes, Christian women can be attracted to bad boys, but the ones who are wise about it will avoid them for relationships and marriage. Those are the ones you want to date and marry (the ones who are wise about avoiding bad boys), so acting that way won’t help you get to that goal.
Third, still yet another issue that often comes up is the issue of anger and bitterness. This often leads to many generalizations about ‘how all women are…’ which is not always the case. General statements are okay with certain context, but anything stated out of anger or bitterness is probably not going to be accurate or godly. This is where you see many of the secular manosphere, MRAs, MGTOWs, and INCELs stuck with a lot of resentment and bitterness against women. This is not healthy.
Fourth, most things related to ‘alpha’ are misunderstood too. Alpha is honestly an annoying topic because it’s such a buzzword but it just means behaviors or traits that are attractive to women. As said before, muscles are generally more attractive to women which will increase your pool of prospective dating candidates. Most of the men who find RP will find it because they are unsuccessful with women. Telling them to lose weight (if they are overweight or obese) or gain muscle (if they are underweight) will increase their attractiveness to the opposite sex.
Can you make being more sexually attractive into an idol? Sure. Can you make getting more attention from women an idol? You betcha. Can you look like an idiot trying to increase your ‘alpha’? Yes. That doesn’t detract from the fact that lifting does increase your pool of viable dating candidates for the most part.
For Christian men who desire a wife, the Bible is the guideline. God says that man is the head of the marriage, so to fulfill this role and responsibility he should be striving toward being a strong masculine leader, protector and provider (and also may need to work on other attractive traits if he’s having trouble getting dates). These things tend to be attractive to women, so it’s no surprise that men who strive toward this will tend to be more attractive to women.
Beyond these points, the main problem that I see is a lot of Christians are saying that “RP is bad” (which in most cases, it’s true that the prescriptive stuff is bad) but then they don’t have any advice when young men (or even women) say they need advice or want help in finding/attracting a spouse. Talking about the hard truths that appearances do matter to the opposite sex is one of the things that is always going to be controversial but needed.
This is much like the homosexuality issue that is plaguing the evangelical Church. People can’t go over how sinful it is to be homosexual or ‘RP’ so they go and preach fire and brimstone on them not realizing that most of these people have been outcasts all their life. What they really need is compassion and the gospel because they are angry and hurting. When they convert, we should be helping mentor and disciple them according to God’s Truth not continue throwing stones at them.
Do we ultimately need “the red pill”
The simple truth is that ultimately Christians do not need to associate with anything like “the red pill,” with the manosphere proper, or anything other naming conventions. Just like there is no such thing as a ‘gay’ Christian or a ‘straight’ Christian, we are not defined by our feelings and desires but following Jesus. You may be a Christian who struggles with certain temptations, but you are not defined by your temptations.
The Bible is the Truth (the ‘real’ red pill) and observing the sin nature of men and women in the world is instructive for Christians on how to avoid temptation. Christian men and women for thousands of years have not needed anything but the Bible for all walks of life including marriage.
However, much of the problem why single Christian men go to the manosphere in the first place is that the Church, friends, and family lie to them about what is attractive and/or aren’t interested in helping, discipling, or mentoring them Biblically to be successful with women and marriage.
By avoiding or eschewing these hard topics in the Church, the Church pushes men toward the secular by not providing the Christian worldview. As long as this continues to happen, Christian men will continue to seek out ways to be successful with women, even secular ones.
To me, this is a travesty. I hope I am not the only one who thinks this.