Essentially, it’s very difficult for men to understand that you’re not responsible for a woman’s emotions. You’re not responsible for your woman’s emotions. You’re not responsible for your wife’s emotions.
This is a very difficult concept to understand, and I don’t think any man ever gets to the point where he understands this fully. Men are generally creatures of action. We want to fix problems. We want to take action. But you can’t “fix” a woman’s emotions. They just are, especially at different periods in time (e.g. her cycle).
In particular, churchianity tries to make a woman’s emotions and unhappiness as an unforgivable sin. “Playing games with women” and “playing with a woman’s emotions” are pretty much stolen feminist phrases that churchianity adapts to beat Christian men over the head. This ultimately gets warped into some weird theology where the man is supposed to guard a woman’s heart. In reality, the heart is the responsibility of each person.
Proverbs 4:20 My son, pay attention to what I say; turn your ear to my words. 21 Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; 22 for they are life to those who find them and health to one’s whole body. 23 Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. 24 Keep your mouth free of perversity; keep corrupt talk far from your lips. 25 Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you. 26 Give careful thought to the[c] paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways. 27 Do not turn to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil.
Just as men process their own emotions internally, it is useful to process her outward showing of emotions internally as well. This prevents you from acting rashly. Sometimes she needs to be held. Sometimes she needs time to get over it by herself. Sometimes she needs to vent. In most cases, it’s not even about you. Even if it is about you, she still needs to deal with it herself without you trying to fix them.
This is the importance of understanding the end goal as it relates to the process. To reiterate, the goal is not to make a woman happy, which is a very easy trap to fall into. The goal is stated in Ephesians 5 and can be summarized as sanctification in Christ and oneness. Stand firm on the Truth. Treat emotions not as something to be fixed but with patience and understanding.