I want to circle back to Scott’s video which was posted in the extent of attraction and re-post it here again from my perspective.
So Scott goes through the definition of “meet cute” which is romantic comedies (RomCom) it’s the “cute story of how you two met.” Then he goes on to explain that in most of the cases in his life it was the women that were pursuing him rather than pursuing women and how it has shaped the qualities that made him attractive to women by building on itself.
I can only speak for myself on this topic, but only can recall two single times that this has happened to me in which girls just liked me for me. Once in high school a girl liked me for me (she went out of her way to sit near me in class and talk to me all the time, though nothing came of it cause I was blind to women) and then once in college (a high school girl liked me and made it clearly known but she was too young and overweight so I didn’t like her). And even the later example could be obscured by the fact that girls generally like and/or look up to guys in the next stage of life (e.g. high school girls like college guys, and college girls like men who have graduated and have a job, etc.).
All of the other times that women were attracted to me were because of situations that set me up to succeed. I remember a few girls liked me in high school, but that was because I helped to tutor them. I remember in college the occasional girl liked me because I was one of the better ones at the recreational sports that I was playing. I remember in grad school that some girls liked me because I was one of the more popular TAs (teaching assistants) as I was apparently good at teaching. Each of these situations set me up as a leader/expert for women to look up to, much like the common tropes where women are attracted to men like boss-secretary or doctor-nurse.
I can’t recall any specific instance where I worked the same job or had status as a woman and they liked me. Unlike Scott, I only have perhaps two scenarios where I’m immediately recognized as an attractive man that women look over at and appreciate. I’m not ugly but I’m not handsome either (though my wife thinks I’m handsome, though I’m pretty sure that’s because of the influence of my leadership and her respect for me). I’ve never heard any other girl aside from her call me handsome.
I do not doubt that the majority of men would only have a few of these scenarios in their lifetime if any where a woman immediately recognizes them as attractive and wants to get to know them. Additionally, I don’t think that most have the fatherly/mentor advice or social experience to capitalize on them either.
Based on this experience, most men are generally not considered attractive (as is born out by the OKcupid observations too). Men who desire to marry would be wise to leverage the specific scenarios to bolster their own attractiveness to women that have been mentioned in this post and prior posts (being excellent at hobbies, being a leader in organizations especially in the Church, job, or other areas of life, being an expert at a certain topic or teaching, etc.). Add on a muscular physique and cultivation of masculine traits which increase attractiveness outright, and you have a recipe to where you have increased your odds where some women will find you attractive as opposed to few to none.
Of course, the reason you should be doing the things first and foremost is to please God and serve Him via your mission for God (the reasons are covered in the past post). Being excellent at everything you do is just standard as a Christian. If you aren’t that is a good place to start because if I reflect back and was mediocre at my tutoring, recreations, or TAing then I doubt any girls would have liked me much.
While my wife and I don’t have a meet cute story, it seems we ultimately ended up with one as she does find me handsome now. So it’s not like things can’t change if you are not considered conventionally attractive. Even with many of the arranged marriages, the stories about them seem to indicate that as long as the husband and wife are committed they grow into each other. Husband and wife goggles are definitely a thing.