Warning signs

Some of you may recall the Jenny Erikson saga that made its way across the manosphere about 3 years ago. This was not exclusive to just the Christian aside of it. Dalrock had a post, ROK had a post, and many other blogs posted about it. Even the non-Christian sites destroyed her on it. I posted on it as well in she didn’t test the spirits.

Basically, what happened was that a conservative Christian mother of 2 was married for about 13 years. For some reason, she decided to blow up her family. She also claimed God gave her peace about it. So she was discussing it with some church women that she was going to divorce her husband. It eventually got back to the pastor, and the pastor went to her first. She went ahead with the divorce anyway, and then her Church excommunicated her. She posted the whole saga on her blog, including the Church excommunication letter and made light of it. (Googling will find it easily)

I was reminded of the scenario a few weeks ago when someone posted on Dalrock’s blog that Leif Erikson had eventually remarried. Anyway, as I was doing some digging I found this interview gem which was about 2.5 years prior to her divorce. Read it if you want to get the whole picture, but it shows many warning signs of things to look out for that likely played a large role in her eventual divorce. Here are some of the gems:

I got married to my best friend at 19 because we didn’t want to live in sin while we spent countless years being engaged. I graduated high school at 17, and after 3 years of 20 unit semesters and summer school, I graduated from Point Loma Nazarene University. I graduated with my B.A. while 5 months pregnant with Thing 1 because birth control doesn’t always work; and we bought our first home when we got a good deal from a relative.

[…]

Like I said above, I got married very young. I was 19, and I married my best friend in the whole world. Our wedding was perfect and beautiful and shortly thereafter, we (unexpectedly!) got pregnant with Thing 1. I finished my B.A., but decided to take some time out to be a mommy. Four years later, we decided to have another baby, and we were blessed with Thing 2.

Best friends and birth control are concerning. Women have this sort of fetish where they want to marry a man that is their best friend for some reason. There’s nothing ‘bad’ per se about it, but it’s elevated to idol level in many cases. While not a Catholic, I think birth control is something to be concerned about because of the lessened value on children and personal selfishness in most cases.

So is the Thing 1 and Thing 2 which we’ll get into as well.

I affectionately call my daughters Thing 1 and Thing 2 because I got some really nasty hate mail in my early days of punditry. I couldn’t stand people I didn’t know saying they wanted my daughters to die in my presence, while using their precious names. Ever since then, I’ve become ferociously protective of their names.

The explanation of Thing 1 and Thing 2 is one of weakness and insecurity. The irony is that she didn’t even have to be in the ‘realm of politics’ but doesn’t want to give it up in favor of her children. We can see where her real priorities lie: her career.

Being a conservative means being for equal opportunity. The amazing thing about our country is that it doesn’t matter where you came from, it matters what you do with you life. Our current President proves it – you can come from anything to become anyone.

I view my role as a voice. Too many of us kept quiet for too long, and it will take generations to undo all the damage. Sometimes, all you need in order to move forward is to know that you’re not alone, and I try to provide that. I’m no one special; I wasn’t trained for this, I don’t have a prestigious pedigree, and I know what it’s like to work and raise a family. Trust me, if I can fight against government oppression, anyone can. And I’ll be right there alongside you.

She’s actually a liberal under the guise of being conservative. Not that politics are an accurate judge of character, but as I noted liberals are farther off the mark.

5.  Name some of your favorites: Books, movies, musical artists, vacation spots, holidays and a couple miscellaneous items of your choice.

[…]

As for books, I have to admit that I’m a romance novel reader. I so seldom get to read these days that I love knowing that the main characters are going to end up happy together. There’s enough bad stuff on the five o’clock news, and I consider reading my escape. In fact, I call most of my silly novels “mental margaritas.”

Women and their literary porn. Huge red flag. Now you know why I had to get out the women are as visual as men post on romance novels being mommy porn prior to this one.

No mention of the Scriptures. In hindsight, it’s obvious that the Scriptures do not play a large role in her life as she actively went against them when she divorced about 2.5 years later.

8.  Piggybacking on the last question: You’re a busy stay-at-home Mom with 2 young children who still finds time to stay informed and involved in conservative activism. How do you do it?

Oh goodness! First of all, the laundry doesn’t always get done. But mainly, I make my kids a part of what I’m doing. If there’s an evening that I can’t get them to settle down for 20 seconds, I let them record the intro to my show. They also know when Mommy has an important interview and are usually pretty good about sitting in front of the TV when I need them to. J

My parents help me out a lot too, and I am so blessed to have them nearby. Thankfully, it seems they’ve been waiting their whole lives to become grandparents, and I openly admit that I take advantage of their adoration of my children as much as possible.

Of course, I couldn’t do anything without my amazing husband, Leif. He is constantly working his schedule around mine, telling me how much he loves me along the way. He’s my brainstorming team, my shoulder to cry on, and my hand to hold. He’s fantastic and amazing. The end.

And now we see the real Jenny. She’s running the show and life is about her. Her husband is her helpmeet. No surprise that wives get dissatisfied with a helpmeet “husband.”

Well, this is a pretty deep question, huh? I look at conservatism as a way to protect Christianity. There has never been a liberal/socialist/communist society that has not tried to stamp out religion. One of the reasons I’m so committed to restoring the founding principles of America is to protect religious freedom. God gave me the gift of being able to string words together, and I do what I do to protect those human rights that He gave us. It would be an insult to God to do otherwise.

As noted earlier, the irony is that she’s a liberal under the guise of conservative. When looking at it through that lens, her real “God” is politics.

10.  Name three goals that would be on your “Bucket List.”

1-    Watch my children grow up to be happy with whatever they decide to do with their lives.

2-    Be close to my eventual grandchildren and spoil them rotten.

3-    Dance with my husband on our 75th wedding anniversary – July 13, 2077.

Oops. The real zinger. I guess feelings change?

All in all, I don’t think any one of these signs in isolation is necessarily something worth writing home about except for literary porn and her marriage revolving around her as the leader. But those two big red flags in conjunction with several yellow flags definitely adds up into a picture of narcissism, and the lack of Scriptural focus and prayer means it is a train careening out of control.

Eventually the marriage ended up in divorce, but the warning signs were there.

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32 Responses to Warning signs

  1. Pingback: Warning signs – Manosphere.org

  2. Neguy says:

    Thanks for the nice post. Do you have any ref to her husband’s remarriage? I couldn’t find it on Google.

    Jenny hasn’t blogged since 2014. Her twitter is still active, and she appears to take a lot of vacations (to Hawaii and Orlando this year alone). She doesn’t appear to have a boyfriend and is using a myspace angles photo. She also posted an article about having to be psycho to stay friends with your ex (but IIRC it was her ex who rebuffed her advances originally). Any other updates on her?

  3. Neguy says:

    Here’s one warning sign you missed. Heartiste would have a field day with this photo:

  4. @ Neguy

    Yeah, I comment on that but the body language definitely says everything right there.

    As for the remarriage,

  5. feeriker says:

    Just reading your excerpts of Jenny’s literary vomitus here had me wondering at first how anyone could have ever paid her any serious attention. Then I remembered that her audience was other women just like herself, at which point it all made sense.

  6. Neguy says:

    Thanks, Deep. I took a look through his twitter timeline. No evidence that he discovered the red pill posts about him (though some tweets about it were aimed at him). He’s a tech guy and Jenny wrote about the hate she was getting. Odds are at least decent he saw at least something. I wish I saw something showing he was unplugged. Sadly it doesn’t look like it.

    These tweets are gut-wrenching:

    I’m not saying he was wrong to do everything he could to save his marriage. But when I think about how the church portrays men and women, I wonder where the articles are in these sites praising men who do the right thing? Where are the sermons about Leif and Jenny Erickson?

  7. shredifier says:

    This is 1 of those articles I have to read and re-read and at the end I still go huh? what am I supposed to be seeing? what’s in that picture that is so revealing that it exposes the woman as being a liberal etc….because honestly I just can’t see what all this is about
    An American woman that puts her carer ahead of her husband: CHECK, that’s about 85% of all women
    An American woman who divorces and gets remarried: CHECK, that describes 98% of all women
    My question is so, so what? do we know the circumstances of what led up to the divorce? since the scriptures identifies at least 3 valid reasons that allows divorce/remarriage why do we pick on that aspect of a person’s life as being “proof” of a liberal mindset? Why are we so quick to judge divorce/remarriage as being the ultimate proof of being liberal?

    Are we living in a Gynocracy where life revolves around women and caters and panders to them? You betcha…..you’ve just described the state and condition of 99% of ALL women
    In fact I don’t know any couple who truly live within the biblical guidelines of gender as God would have it, even with so called professing conservative Christian couples, except perhaps those living in cults or some remote backwards Amish community…the sad thing is, very very few women want or desire to be a “helpmeet“….marriage is all about THEM

    But getting back to the topic at hand, I still have no idea what this topic is about or what it’s trying to say, or what’s in that pic that I’m missing

  8. SapphireYagami says:

    i agree with you, if what he points is warning signs then no man should get married based on those warning signs.

  9. SapphireYagami says:

    i don’t understand the picture, they look happy to me. So what are we suppose to see with the photo?

    Also, im sure there’s more to the story than what you stated that led to divorce. There is something missing and i would need the husbands side to see what went wrong.

  10. @ shredifier, sapphire

    Re: picture

    https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2016/06/21/the-body-language-of-a-woman-pretending-to-love-a-beta-male/

    https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2016/07/18/compare-and-contrast-two-men-and-their-wives/

    Secondly, re: everything else.

    That’s mainly the point. Supposedly “Christian” women that are so inundated in culture that it’s basically inseparable when Christians are called to be “set apart” — sanctified — by Christ.

    As I said, it’s not really one thing that give me pause aside from the role reversal and female porn as those are red flags. It’s everything added together.

    A man should know:

    1. The extent of the risk he is going to take if he wants to be married, and
    2. He should know if his marriage is on a downward spiral and signs to look for.

  11. @ Neguy

    Yep, by all accounts Leif attempted to do the right thing.

    Obviously, we would like to see repentance and reconciliation. However, if she remains unrepentant then it’s good that she didn’t go back to him.

  12. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I hadn’t thought of Jenny Erickson in a long time. Thank you for the update. It is amusing that he found another wife when he was wronged and the wife that dumped him has had no luck. My takeaway from the whole mess was that a wife can turn treacherous without notice and men have little to defend themselves and their family with. Most times, he is the last to know. At least her church did not condone her behavior.

  13. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I had another thought. I think ever husband has to have faith and place trust in his wife. When we look back, we always have 20/20 vision and know how it turns out. for those living in the present, this is of little help.

  14. FNU MNU LNU says:

    Do we really want to see reconciliation? I mean, she’s already shown you who she really is the first time. People really don’t change that much unless something really life changing has happened.

    Isn’t it more likely that the person would just hide it better the second time around.

    And then the man ends up as a consolation prize, when her flings didn’t work out.

  15. @ FNU MNU LNU

    I agree if it was human repentance.

    However, the gospel transforms lives.

  16. FNU MNU LNU says:

    Agreed, for true believers.

    But I have grown very pessimistic over the years. I see a lot of people who attend church every Sunday, but whose actions the rest of the time don’t represent what is taught.

    It’s almost like the act of going to church, is the dry eraser for everything they have done the previous week. Especially the women.

  17. Chris says:

    I understand her desire to protect the identities of her kids, but the fact that she literally refers to them as things is disquieting.

  18. @ FNU MNU LNU

    But I have grown very pessimistic over the years. I see a lot of people who attend church every Sunday, but whose actions the rest of the time don’t represent what is taught.
    It’s almost like the act of going to church, is the dry eraser for everything they have done the previous week. Especially the women.

    It’s been my estimate for years that only about 10-20% of people who attend Church [in the West] are “true believers.”

    And by true believers I mean Jesus’ statement on: “If you love me, keep my commandments.”

  19. Jonadab-the-Rechabite says:

    Do we really want to see reconciliation? I mean, she’s already shown you who she really is the first time.

    When a man of faith makes a vow to God it is inviolable. Regardless of the pain, a man of God seeks to find peace through sacrifice, in this way he imitates Christ. But it is not peace with the wife that drives him, but peace with God by doing his “Father’s” will. Leif seeking reconciliation that comes from true repentance and change of heart is IMO, righteousness in the face of evil. He should be applauded, validated and comforted in such a circumstance. Second guessing that he did not act in his own best interest is to complain that he was too much like Christ and not skilled in the manner of sinning.

    That in no way should dilute our scorn toward evil wives, but rather amplify it. “How could you act so wickedly toward such a good and Godly man?” The Word of God is blasphemed (2 Tim 2:5) by her actions not his. He sought her sanctification, repentance and to forgive her, are these not the attitudes of our Lord? She is the apostate and deserving of wrath, it was not a failure of his leadership or his gullibility, rather it was her deception of herself, her husband and the church that is at fault.

  20. Neguy says:

    Remember also that 1 Peter tells us that to bear up under sorrows while suffering unjustly finds favor with God. He points to Jesus saying, to consider Christ who being reviled did not revile in turn, while suffering uttered no threats, but kept entrusting himself to the Father who judges righteously.

    In fairness, Leif also uses the Thing 1/2 nomenclature in his twitter. It reminds me of the Financial Times’ old Mrs. Moneypenny column, when she referred to her children as Cost Centre #1, etc.

  21. FNU MNU LNU says:

    I don’t see that as such a big deal. Dr Seuss references aren’t that bad.

  22. FNU MNU LNU says:

    I wasn’t meaning to ridicule him at all. I can understand completely wanting to fix things with someone you love. But in reality has she changed enough to deserve it? or would he just be setting himself up for more pain?

  23. Jonadab-the-Rechabite says:

    But in reality has she changed enough to deserve it? or would he just be setting himself up for more pain?

    Of course he is setting himself up for more pain. Avoiding pain is not the higher virtue. Of course she does not deserve to be reconciled, yet that is the Gospel – Christ died for us while we were still sinners (Rom 5:8). A Christian marriage is a type of Christ and the Church, a picture of the gospel. We love because we were first loved (1 Jn 4:19) or put another way, we extend grace because we have been given grace. Denying oneself and taking up the cross daily is painful and it is the life of the christian. My concern is not that he might be hurt, but that he might facilitate her sins of dishonor and selfishness to avoid being hurt. To be Christlike is to neither avoid pain, nor to validate sin. It was due to the odiousness of our sin that Christ sacrificed Himself to redeem us from that sin.

  24. Cassie says:

    Women have this sort of fetish where they want to marry a man that is their best friend for some reason.

    Easy enough to explain (which, by the way, also explains why some women say they want to be “just friends first“). Also, I wonder if men and women having different ideas about what makes a friend a friend could explain the lack of understanding that most men have about this. (Hint, we don’t want you to be like one of the girls.):

    As a woman, some of the traits that I’ve always looked for when determining whether or not a man would be a good fit as a husband for me are:

    Can I depend on him in hard times, or will he ditch me when I need him most? Can I be vulnerable and open with him and know that he’ll understand me and love me no matter what, or will he not care enough to be like that? Will he tell me what I need to hear even if he knows it’s not what I want to hear, or will he chicken out because it might be hard? Will he be loyal to me, just as he expects me to be loyal to him?

    These also happen to be traits that, to me and to most women, define a true friend. And the person who most exhibits them towards us is our best friend. And considering a husband and wife become one when they marry, it stands to reason that a husband should be these things to his wife (and vice versa) more so than any other person should be to her. So yeah, we want our husband to also be our best friend. I would automatically think of my husband as my best friend (among other things of course) because of these traits that I would expect him to possess above all others (second only to God).

    Hopefully that makes sense.

  25. Single Man says:

    @ Deep Strength

    I still don’t understand regarding the picture. Jenny’s bosom is open to Leif; at least one of his hands are on her waist; she has at least one of her hands on his scarf, possibly pulling him toward her. Now, she smiling rather than actually kissing him… is that what you mean?

  26. shredifier says:

    Cassie
    You ask the question by looking at various personality traits that you wish to see in a potential husband whether he would make good “husband” material or not
    This is just my opinion but it seems to me to be the wrong thing to ask. By asking it sends a clear message that any subsequent marriage entered into will be based on YOUR evaluation of your partner and whether he performs up to your expectations. …The clear implication being is that if he doesn’t meet them you can discard him and find someone else, it makes the marriage all about YOU and him fitting into YOUR life and YOUR goals and aspirations
    I prefer the biblical model where it’s the other way around. …a wife’s position and goal in life is to meet HIS needs, aspirations and goals….she is there to be a help meet for HIM
    The west is in such a vile pathetic morally bankrupt state as it is because woman have abandoned the role of being a help meet and have made marriage an institution all about THEM
    So sure, it’s wise to look for good qualities in a potential husband but he shouldn’t be a friend? I’m not hard line on that as I could be wrong and I’m open to correction

  27. Cassie says:

    @ Shredifier

    By asking it sends a clear message that any subsequent marriage entered into will be based on YOUR evaluation of your partner and whether he performs up to your expectations. …The clear implication being is that if he doesn’t meet them you can discard him and find someone else, it makes the marriage all about YOU and him fitting into YOUR life and YOUR goals and aspirations

    Uh, no. I wasn’t saying or implying, nor do I believe, any of that. Not by a long shot. I don’t even see how you could come to such a conclusion after reading what I said. I was explaining to Deep Strength why women have a “fetish” for marrying their “best friend” because he worded it in such a way as to suggest that he didn’t understand why we do that, and it was an easy concept to explain.

    I prefer the biblical model where it’s the other way around. …a wife’s position and goal in life is to meet HIS needs, aspirations and goals….she is there to be a help meet for HIM
    The west is in such a vile pathetic morally bankrupt state as it is because woman have abandoned the role of being a help meet and have made marriage an institution all about THEM

    Yes of course a woman should be her husband’s helpmeet and should do everything she can to meet his needs. That does NOT, however, mean that she doesn’t have needs that he should also meet (in the context of “friendship,” it’s called companionship). Nor does it mean that she shouldn’t be evaluating him before marriage to guage whether or not he’ll be seeking to meet her needs as well. And no, that doesn’t in any way mean or imply that he has to follow her lead, or that she’s not to be his helpmeet and help him achieve God’s goals for him, or anything like that. It does mean that if a woman is going to be those things for her husband, and stick with him for life, then she’d better evaluate him and make sure (prior to marrying him) that he is someone that she won’t be miserable with. And marrying someone who won’t be those things that I listed in my first comment? Yeah, misery all the way.

    So sure, it’s wise to look for good qualities in a potential husband but he shouldn’t be a friend? I’m not hard line on that as I could be wrong and I’m open to correction

    We’ll have to agree to disagree on whether or not married couples shouldn’t be companions (which is what I meant by friends).

    I’m gonna bow out of this discussion now, because I’m getting dangerously close to breaking DS’s rules about trying to stay on topic. Peace.

  28. Cassie says:

    Actually, one last thought, then I’m out.

    The bible does include a thing or two about a woman having needs in marriage that a husband is to meet that go beyond the physical survival needs of provision and protection. Love and understanding, for instance.

  29. shredifier says:

    Cassie…..my apologies Cassie I completely misread what you had written, your logic is sound and I agree with your conclusions 😊

  30. Elspeth says:

    The bible does include a thing or two about a woman having needs in marriage that a husband is to meet that go beyond the physical survival needs of provision and protection. Love and understanding, for instance.

    -like-

  31. feeriker says:

    As a woman, some of the traits that I’ve always looked for when determining whether or not a man would be a good fit as a husband for me are:

    Can I depend on him in hard times, or will he ditch me when I need him most? … Will he be loyal to me, just as he expects me to be loyal to him?

    These are also two key things that any man looking for a wife needs to vet hardest and most thoroughly in a woman. Unfortunately, they’re also two of the most difficult things to vet for as well.

  32. Pingback: Politics | Christianity and masculinity

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