Yesterday in the post Masculinity is the truth I discussed that interactions with women that involve teasing and flirting with them is about revealing indirect truth about themselves. This is the way in which masculinity can be utilized either for godly purposes or for evil.
Let’s take a trip back to the pyramid, and run through some examples.
For example, if I have a heart that desires what I want for myself (Heart) then I sexualize the conversation and touch her thus revealing truth about a woman’s sinful nature (her desires for pleasure and fornication). This would be the same route that the players and PUAs take which is leading a woman down the road of temptation.
On the other hand, if I have a heart for God and good knowledge of the Scriptures then I can use flirting and teasing to reveal truths of where women stumble in their walks (whereas with men I don’t have to sugar coat it). This would lead a woman towards a greater knowledge of the Father.
The dichotomy present here is the same one that is present in the word respect that is used in the Scriptures. A woman will never be attracted to a man she doesn’t respect. You may recognize the root form of the word that is used for respect in Ephesians 5 (NASB):
33 Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she [r]respects (phobeō) her husband.
G5399 — φοβέω — phobeō — fob-eh’-o
From G5401; to frighten, that is, (passively) to be alarmed; by analogy to be in awe of, that is, revere: – be (+ sore) afraid, fear (exceedingly), reverence.
This word is used in multiple passages in Scripture in the New Testament. For example, all Christians are to have respect or reverence for God. We are to fear God. This is the same context that we use this for the word adoration in the above chart — it’s ultimately about building respect. As you saw yesterday in JoJ’s post on the definition of “game” it’s all about building respect. You should strive to be a man worthy of respect through the character of your words and actions. In the hierarchy of creation where God > humans, we are in fear of God because of it. Likewise, God > Jesus > Spirit and Jesus talks about his submission and gives reverence to God (only God is good) on multiple occasions. Similarly, in marriage a man > wife in terms of headship and submission and wives are supposed to give respect or reverence to their husbands.
Now, here’s where the dichotomy comes in. Phobeo is also used in the Scriptures where men are fearing for their lives from people, from the multitude, from their masters, and from other things.
If you weild masculinity to tempt women into sin, all you have left is fear. The fear of God’s wrath. The fear of STDs. The fear of pregnancy. The fear that is gained from giving into temptation infects both parties. For women who are promiscuous, though they attempt to rationalize it, they almost always ultimately fear that they are going to get pumped and dumped. They fear that they will be found out and exposed to society or their friends and family of their promiscuity. These women fear their N-count getting out to their spouses. When you walk the road of temptation and sin all you have left is fear. You may have momentary pleasures, but all you have left at the end is fear. A void. A gnawing sensation that something is wrong.
Essentially, when you walk in the truth (masculinity) of the Truth (Jesus/Spirit) you are doing what is righteous and will have respect. But when you walk in the truth (masculinity) of the Lie (Satan/flesh) all you have left is fear.
Luke 8 (NASB)
16 “Now no one after lighting a lamp covers it over with a container, or puts it under a bed; but he puts it on a lampstand, so that those who come in may see the light. 17 For nothing is hidden that will not become evident, nor anything secret that will not be known and come to light. 18 So take care how you listen; for whoever has, to him more shall be given; and whoever does not have, even what he [e]thinks he has shall be taken away from him.”
Walking in darkness leads to fear, but walking in the light leads to respect/reverence.
Therefore, our remade chart looks something like this:
This is very similar in the way that Phobeo is used in Matthew 10 (NASB) when Jesus talks about Discipleship:
26 “Therefore do not fear them, for there is nothing concealed that will not be revealed, or hidden that will not be known. 27 What I tell you in the darkness, speak in the light; and what you hear whispered in your ear, proclaim upon the housetops. 28 Do not fear those who kill the body but are unable to kill the soul; but rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in [x]hell. 29 Are not two sparrows sold for a [y]cent? And yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. 30 But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31 So do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows.
Jesus present discipleship in an analogy. This analogy parallels the Structure of authority between God and humans, humans and humans, and husband and wife (or man and woman).
We are not to fear the darkness for it will all be brought to light. Likewise, when we weild masculinity for evil we are not fooling anyone. Temptation is corrupting and such actions will result in fear of the truth. The fear of being exposed. God sees all and will judge all, though consequences may abound in this life and/or the next. God cannot be mocked.
Thus, we should live in fear of God and not men. To weild masculinity for God. To use masculinity in a godly manner in marriage. To strive towards using our truth (masculinity) for revelation of the Truth in all that we do. If it is in our mission to weild masculinity in a godly manner to search for that wife.